One Day My Mom & Sister Called Me Freaking Out Saying I Was Going To Win A Baby
When I met a hot guy in my apartment elevator I had envisioned my life so different then where I am today. No kids, likely single, and living in a loft in Toronto.
Skip ahead a few years and we are married, bought our perfect starter home and got a puppy. Did everything “right and in order”. We started trying for kids right away, and month after month I waited. Months and months passed and eventually I reached out to my dr. We tried every test, diet, exercise, herbal remedy that had any kind of promise to help with fertility. Nothing. We were referred to a fertility clinic in Ottawa where we underwent more tests, to be told that not only one of us, but both of us had fertility issues... making it close to impossible for us to conceive on our own.
I knew we couldn’t afford IVF, which was our only option to conceive, so I got angry, upset, depressed. Everyone asked why wasn’t I pregnant yet, didn’t I want kids, what was taking so long. I went through what I can only describe as stages of grief. Denial, anger, acceptance. Until one day my mom and sister called me freaking out saying I was going to win a baby. A Ottawa based radio station was holding a contest and the prize was paid fertility treatments. I told my husband we were going to win and I wrote my entry letter. We, along side four other couples, won.
So when I met my fertility doctor again and he gave me scary percentages and legalities etc. I decided I was going to follow every rule and recommendations to the letter. I lost the weight I was told to lose and was a little crazy about ensuring I followed everything my drs and nurses said.
So when it worked and we conceived for the first round, I adopted that mentality to my pregnancy. I saved every list of no and maybe no foods and drinks to my phone. I monitored absolutely everything and delivered a healthy happy baby boy.
So of course I adapted the same to recommendations for babies, nursing, feeding, sleeping etc. I had a rough first 6 months with Knox because I was trying to do everything perfectly (which doesn’t exist). I slowly started to loosen up a bit as I realized the way I was doing things wasn’t working and maybe my plan needed to be changed. I started to pay attention to what I needed, and Knox needed.
Our two biggest surprises, our girls... our 1 in a millions. Knox apparently made some adjustments when he was in there and to this day says that I had Quinn and Riley because he asked for them.
I learned a lot through Knox and by baby 3 I didn’t have the energy to even try to be perfect. I was hospitalized 3 days postpartum in septic shock and with a blood clot in my right lunge. Crazy me even tried to pump while in icu, because I didn’t want Riley to miss out (talk about mom guilt). I eventually gave up on that idea and trusted what I’ve always said that fed is best and I needed to survive, pumping was the least of my worries.
That experience mellowed me out, I guess is the best way to say it. Beyond the fact that I have three small children, and live in small children chaos lol.. I just realized what’s important. That my children and hubby and I are healthy, happy and together.
That’s what really started my journey into social media. I dabbled before in makeup on YouTube and blogging etc. but I felt like I found my voice and settled into who I am and where I want to go. And by no means do I mean I “settled”, I mean I am comfortable in where I am and am appreciating my now while I work for tomorrow.
Author: Natasha Derouchie